“It’s easy to take the quitter’s way out.” –Sarah Palin, in her resignation speech.
A lot of people are piling on Sarah Palin right now. They’re saying that she resigned because it’s the easy way out, that she doesn’t want to risk sagging popularity getting in the way of her next political campaign. They’re saying that she’s only interested in her personal political goals, that she doesn’t want to do the hard work of actually governing like she was elected to. They’re saying she’s just another politician who only cares about the next election and that this is a cynical attempt to free her up to campaign for the presidency in 2012. To these people I have one thing to say.
You are absolutely, one-hundred per cent ….. correct.
That’s right. I am one of those people. You can pretty much already cross her off my ballot for the 2012 Republican primary. Before I start listing reasons why I’d like to say a few things I do like about her.
-She gave a very good speech at the convention. The best I heard last year.
-She brings out the worst in the Left. At no time am I more cognizant of the moral and intellectual bankruptcy of the modern Left than when Sarah Palin is being discussed. (Sadly this is similar to one of my negatives with regard to Ms. Palin.) This is particularly true of the so-called feminist leaders. If you did still take them seriously (and I have no idea why you would after the last 20 years or so) their behavior toward Governor Palin should serve as a reminder that the line about “advancing women’s issues” is exactly that, a line of BS.
-At one time I thought perhaps she embodied the Jeffersonian/ Jacksonian ideal of the citizen serving their country as opposed to the idea of a permanent political class like we see in the stagnating nations of Europe, and increasingly the United States. This could be the case with Sarah Palin I suppose, but not for long. It certainly seems less likely to me than it did last September.
-She agrees with me on most political issues. Can she intelligently articulate to others why they should agree? I doubt it. She’s a lot like Sean Hannity to me in that I agree with his positions on most issues, but hearing him try to explain why makes me cringe and grip the steering wheel tightly.
-That’s it for positives. Now for what I don’t like.
-I once read a comment that Sarah Palin’s main qualification with the Right is that she didn’t have an abortion. This is somewhat blunt. It is also, I feel, accurate.
-Now that the emotion of the campaign is over, go back and watch the debate with Biden. There are more cringe-inducing moments than I remember back when I was watching it happen live. In many cases she goes into the old North Carolina four-corners “kill the clock” offense, throwing out a lot of meaningless phrases to fill the allotted time and avoid having to say anything of substance. If she’d been a man Biden would have lit her up like a Christmas tree.
-Gender cuts both ways. Has there been sexism directed at her? Absolutely. But she’s gotten some bounces herself from that one. Can you imagine a male candidate trying to wriggle out of questions by winking and saying something cute? I can actually. Bush took that route a few times. I didn’t care for it then either.
-Her hold on many of the crucial issues of the day was about as steady as the vertical hold on a 30 year old RCA television set that had been dropped down a flight of stairs. Not knowing what the Bush Doctrine is? That was straight up embarrassing. 90% of America could not have answered that question, but they weren’t running for Vice President. I’d bet my right eye that Joe Biden and Hillary Clinton are in the 10% or less that could answer the question. This would have been a softball for me to slam into the parking lot beyond the left field fence, but I digress.
-The sports references are really flowing tonight.
-In the past 8 months I really haven’t seen any development in terms of depth. Do you think if Sarah Palin were ugly she’d be allowed to slide by so many people? It is ironic how the two ends of the political spectrum mimic each other’s worse qualities. Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton have some of the same jokes being thrown around about them (you could include Mrs. Obama here too), the only difference is which end of the political spectrum they’re coming from, and whether the epithet used is “Nazi” or “Communist”.
-“She did a good job as governor of Alaska. Look at their economy.” Just for fun, look at how the Alaskan oil economy works. I remember a few months back when Glen Beck had an expert on Socialism on his show. I also remember the priceless look on Glen’s face when the expert told him that the real Socialist in the race was… that’s right, Sarah Palin.
-The behind the scenes political moves made during the late stages of the ’08 campaign (among other things Todd Palin telling major donors to hold their powder 2012) seemed to me to be indicative of political social-climbers of the worst sort. Is that what the rest of the pols do? Yeah, probably. So if she’s just like the rest, I’ll take one with a better resume and who can articulate the issues. Even though she does read “all of the newspapers”.
-She is another in a line of style-over-substance feel-good candidates. She seems more about hype and image than reality and hard work. This kind of fits the direction our society is going even further into. A kind of society where the average person under 25 takes like a thousand photographs of themselves every year doing absolutely nothing just to boost their online personas.
-This is why I’m leaning toward Newt for 2012
-Does it bother you how much people on the Right seem to love her more because they don’t view her as an intellectual? It does me. I don’t mean “intellectual” the way the left views it. They mistake academics for intellectuals on a daily basis, trotting out some professor who is incapable of dressing himself and telling me I should listen to this person without question due to what’s hanging on their wall, no matter how asinine the statements they make are.
- Michael Steele should get honorable mention in the “embarrassment sweepstakes”.
-Do you really think “being close to Russia” is foreign policy credentials? Be honest. I guess every governor of a border state can claim foreign policy experience.
-The left is doing her a huge favor politically by going after her family. With everything I just listed, (far from a complete list just what came to mind in the last hour or so) all they want to talk about is her daughter having a baby?
-These views are not set in stone. If she showed me some substance, some willingness to work hard and actually make me believe that she believes in something, that she has a vision other than advancing her career, I may change my mind. I’m not sure that can be done with speeches or fielding easy questions from sympathetic interviewers. She’s not going to have the easy road that Obama had in terms of media coverage. This actually could be a blessing in disguise if she manages to hold her own against hostile opponents. Anyways, you probably didn’t see that coming.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Summertime... and the Living is Greasy.
It's been a while since my last post, and I thought I'd give you guys a look into how my mind works. This post is a collection of random, mostly work-related thoughts I've had in the last 6 weeks or so. This will be a rather "blue" post in terms of language and humor. Some concepts just would be funny without using any profanity (one phrase in particular). But none of you three that read this are particularly squeamish. Between working on construction sites, driving taxi cabs, college, fighting in a war, and working in youth ministry you guys have heard and seen worse.
This will be in no way political, and will kind of transition into a series of posts about the hits and misses (okay, actually just the misses) of my love life in my late teens and early twenties. Those are some very funny stories, many of which have only recently stopped being too embarrassing to relate. A lot of interactions with younger co-workers have brought these flooding back to mind over the past month or two. But for now, here is where we get to the bottom of this interesting sense of humor of mine.
-First, there is a topic we in this country need to have a serious "dialogue" about. Every American needs to take a few minutes, take a long hard look in the mirror and seriously consider the question, "can I really get away with wearing these shorts in public?” This is not directed strictly at women or fat people. I know damn well that no one wants to see my legs. I think some rules would be in order. I'll let someone else draw up the legislation but I want a provision about no short-shorts on men. My job has some fringe benefits in terms of scenery, but it really cuts both ways some times. A few weeks ago I wanted to walk up to a woman and say, "ma'am I will never be able to eat cottage cheese again as long as I live because of you. Seriously, I have the exact, literal opposite of an erection right now."
-I ran a lot of these ideas past Bob last night. We talked for like four hours. This is cool because I won't feel ripped off when I pay my cell phone bill this month. Last month, I used 3 minutes the entire month. Not even full minutes. That's just the smallest billing increment.
-I get to meet a lot of idiots working in a hardware store. But I'd say per capita in college than any place I've ever been except for Battle Creek, MI.
-I find Asian women have the hardest foreign accents for me to understand. Not sure why, but no other group is even close.
-German women are my least favorite customers to deal with. I actually got a full sentence out in response to a question from one once without being interrupted and I felt like I had just made a major accomplishment. It was probably a very short sentence.
-I heard that in France if you go into a store and don't speak the language they rip you off like crazy. Here you get to be angry at the employees because they speak the language of the country you snuck into illegally.
-Yeah, I said it. Someone's got to say it.
-I'm mainly writing these down so that I can remember them when I'm ready to write my book "Excuse Me Sir, Do You Work Here?" about my work experiences. This will be followed up by my book "Never Get into a Fist-fight Over a Woman You Haven't Slept With... and other dating lessons I learned the hard way." (That's kind of a working-title.)
-I never cease to be amazed how small of an amount of money people are willing to humiliate themselves in public over. "This is 2 dollars more than I thought. I'm going to make a complete idiot out of myself. That'll show 'em!"
-I love it when people argue with me over what brand of paint I sell. It's not like I would know having been there 40 hours a week for the last 5 years. A close second are people who say, "What do you mean you're out of it?” It takes every drop of self-control I have not to say: "What the fuck did that sentence sound like it meant?”
-Two quick non-work things: One of my least favorite phrases is "good eatin'", "eatin' good", or any variation thereof. Any time I hear this said, I'm half-expecting the person to be talking about road-kill. Second, the oddest pairing of songs I've ever gotten from having my MP3 player on random mode just happened. It was "Big Iron" by Marty Robbins followed by "The Beast and the Harlot" by Avenged Sevenfold. Talk about a train-wreck.
-I suggested to the manager of my store that if they put a few more things out on the sidewalk in front of the building people wouldn't be able to use the doors at all. Apparently this isn't the goal. The goal is just to make it so that people have to run a gauntlet of incoming traffic to get in. This way you know they're serious about spending money.
-Attention America: you and your plants are out of control. I can't even go near that area as a customer, let alone dressed like an employee. It's like the thunderdome in all honesty.
-A good deal of energy is spent by me trying not to have to help anyone else in other areas after closing. If asked if I'm done in my department the answer is always "no". There has only been one exception this year. Me and my co-worker Mike were closing when this manager, Fred, who is a nice guy but always looks a little overwhelmed comes over and asks us to go help outside after the store closes.
The conversation went like this:
Fred: Is there any way you guys can go help out in garden?
Me: No, I think we’ve got plenty to do to keep us busy over here.
Fred: It’s just that those girls are getting slammed out there and…
Me (interrupting): We’ll both go. You had us at “girls are getting slammed”. Wherever there’s a girl getting slammed I’ll be there.
-Did you catch the literary reference there?
-So I had typed out like 15 more of these and hit POST, only to have it disappear. Fucking Blogspot. So I’m skipping most of them only to re-type the Michael Jackson related ones.
-This just in. Michael Jackson is dead. I’m sure for the next several weeks you’ll hear a lot of “entertainer of the century” talk, as though Elvis Aron Presley never lived. In tribute I’ll say “Your legend burned out long before your candle ever did.”
-I should do a complete parody to be called “Candy-ass in the Wind”. Too soon? Too bad. There was no moratorium when John Denver died.
-You know he was doing those kids allegedly, right?
-If a woman told you you “kiss like a girl”, is that good? Bad? What the hell does that even mean?
-Some one just called the station I’m listening to to say “Michael Jackson touched every one in one way or another allegedly”. And the “another” is what I’d like to talk about right now.
-“Billie Jean’s not my lover….because I’m a homosexual pedophile allegedly”
-Now a grown man has called up taking it horribly. In the words of the Godfather “you can act like a man”. Pour yourself a shot of something and then go take a walk in the rain.
-I’m so pissed about having to re-type this. They were flowing one after another earlier.
-I’m waiting for someone to call in and say “ I lost my virginity to a Michael Jackson song… to my Little League coach in the 4th grade.”
-The song? Beat It allegedly.
-When I die make all the jokes you want. I won’t care at that point.
-Michael Jackson leaves behind three kids….who, to be brutally honest, are probably way better off this way. It's horrible, yes. But maybe now they can take the damn blankets off their heads.
-Now people are sharing their memories of Michael. My memory is him on MTV talking about having his penis photographed by the police. That was pretty messed up. Just his ultra-high voice saying "my penis" scarred my young mind allegedly.
-Anyway, mercifully those are all I can remember. Maybe I'll post more of the work related stuff but I'm not re-typing it again today. Oh well, lesson learned. Also, RIP Farrah Fawcett, who as far as I know was never accused of molesting anyone.
This will be in no way political, and will kind of transition into a series of posts about the hits and misses (okay, actually just the misses) of my love life in my late teens and early twenties. Those are some very funny stories, many of which have only recently stopped being too embarrassing to relate. A lot of interactions with younger co-workers have brought these flooding back to mind over the past month or two. But for now, here is where we get to the bottom of this interesting sense of humor of mine.
-First, there is a topic we in this country need to have a serious "dialogue" about. Every American needs to take a few minutes, take a long hard look in the mirror and seriously consider the question, "can I really get away with wearing these shorts in public?” This is not directed strictly at women or fat people. I know damn well that no one wants to see my legs. I think some rules would be in order. I'll let someone else draw up the legislation but I want a provision about no short-shorts on men. My job has some fringe benefits in terms of scenery, but it really cuts both ways some times. A few weeks ago I wanted to walk up to a woman and say, "ma'am I will never be able to eat cottage cheese again as long as I live because of you. Seriously, I have the exact, literal opposite of an erection right now."
-I ran a lot of these ideas past Bob last night. We talked for like four hours. This is cool because I won't feel ripped off when I pay my cell phone bill this month. Last month, I used 3 minutes the entire month. Not even full minutes. That's just the smallest billing increment.
-I get to meet a lot of idiots working in a hardware store. But I'd say per capita in college than any place I've ever been except for Battle Creek, MI.
-I find Asian women have the hardest foreign accents for me to understand. Not sure why, but no other group is even close.
-German women are my least favorite customers to deal with. I actually got a full sentence out in response to a question from one once without being interrupted and I felt like I had just made a major accomplishment. It was probably a very short sentence.
-I heard that in France if you go into a store and don't speak the language they rip you off like crazy. Here you get to be angry at the employees because they speak the language of the country you snuck into illegally.
-Yeah, I said it. Someone's got to say it.
-I'm mainly writing these down so that I can remember them when I'm ready to write my book "Excuse Me Sir, Do You Work Here?" about my work experiences. This will be followed up by my book "Never Get into a Fist-fight Over a Woman You Haven't Slept With... and other dating lessons I learned the hard way." (That's kind of a working-title.)
-I never cease to be amazed how small of an amount of money people are willing to humiliate themselves in public over. "This is 2 dollars more than I thought. I'm going to make a complete idiot out of myself. That'll show 'em!"
-I love it when people argue with me over what brand of paint I sell. It's not like I would know having been there 40 hours a week for the last 5 years. A close second are people who say, "What do you mean you're out of it?” It takes every drop of self-control I have not to say: "What the fuck did that sentence sound like it meant?”
-Two quick non-work things: One of my least favorite phrases is "good eatin'", "eatin' good", or any variation thereof. Any time I hear this said, I'm half-expecting the person to be talking about road-kill. Second, the oddest pairing of songs I've ever gotten from having my MP3 player on random mode just happened. It was "Big Iron" by Marty Robbins followed by "The Beast and the Harlot" by Avenged Sevenfold. Talk about a train-wreck.
-I suggested to the manager of my store that if they put a few more things out on the sidewalk in front of the building people wouldn't be able to use the doors at all. Apparently this isn't the goal. The goal is just to make it so that people have to run a gauntlet of incoming traffic to get in. This way you know they're serious about spending money.
-Attention America: you and your plants are out of control. I can't even go near that area as a customer, let alone dressed like an employee. It's like the thunderdome in all honesty.
-A good deal of energy is spent by me trying not to have to help anyone else in other areas after closing. If asked if I'm done in my department the answer is always "no". There has only been one exception this year. Me and my co-worker Mike were closing when this manager, Fred, who is a nice guy but always looks a little overwhelmed comes over and asks us to go help outside after the store closes.
The conversation went like this:
Fred: Is there any way you guys can go help out in garden?
Me: No, I think we’ve got plenty to do to keep us busy over here.
Fred: It’s just that those girls are getting slammed out there and…
Me (interrupting): We’ll both go. You had us at “girls are getting slammed”. Wherever there’s a girl getting slammed I’ll be there.
-Did you catch the literary reference there?
-So I had typed out like 15 more of these and hit POST, only to have it disappear. Fucking Blogspot. So I’m skipping most of them only to re-type the Michael Jackson related ones.
-This just in. Michael Jackson is dead. I’m sure for the next several weeks you’ll hear a lot of “entertainer of the century” talk, as though Elvis Aron Presley never lived. In tribute I’ll say “Your legend burned out long before your candle ever did.”
-I should do a complete parody to be called “Candy-ass in the Wind”. Too soon? Too bad. There was no moratorium when John Denver died.
-You know he was doing those kids allegedly, right?
-If a woman told you you “kiss like a girl”, is that good? Bad? What the hell does that even mean?
-Some one just called the station I’m listening to to say “Michael Jackson touched every one in one way or another allegedly”. And the “another” is what I’d like to talk about right now.
-“Billie Jean’s not my lover….because I’m a homosexual pedophile allegedly”
-Now a grown man has called up taking it horribly. In the words of the Godfather “you can act like a man”. Pour yourself a shot of something and then go take a walk in the rain.
-I’m so pissed about having to re-type this. They were flowing one after another earlier.
-I’m waiting for someone to call in and say “ I lost my virginity to a Michael Jackson song… to my Little League coach in the 4th grade.”
-The song? Beat It allegedly.
-When I die make all the jokes you want. I won’t care at that point.
-Michael Jackson leaves behind three kids….who, to be brutally honest, are probably way better off this way. It's horrible, yes. But maybe now they can take the damn blankets off their heads.
-Now people are sharing their memories of Michael. My memory is him on MTV talking about having his penis photographed by the police. That was pretty messed up. Just his ultra-high voice saying "my penis" scarred my young mind allegedly.
-Anyway, mercifully those are all I can remember. Maybe I'll post more of the work related stuff but I'm not re-typing it again today. Oh well, lesson learned. Also, RIP Farrah Fawcett, who as far as I know was never accused of molesting anyone.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Interesting Day at Work.
Some one got stabbed at my workplace today. This is a lot funnier that it seems at first glance. Here's a quick run-down of what I've heard.
-Two guys (we'll call them fat guy and skinny guy) are fighting over this woman (who I would be willing to wager any amount is not hot).
-Apparently she used to be with skinny guy but left him to be with fat guy.
-Fat guy and skinny guy just happen to run into each other at the lumber desk.
-Words are exchanged. (I'm sure the ebonics involved here were utterly hilarious.)
-Fat guy tells skinny guy something to the effect of "you couldn't satisfy her".
-Skinny guy plunges a knife into fat guy's belly. It was a short knife and a large belly, so apparently no major injury was done.
-Skinny guy proceeds to get on his cell phone and call (rumor has it) the police. He walks around holding the knife in one hand and the phone in the other until the police arrive.
-The police point guns and tasers at him and he complies. Unfortunately he was not tased, bro.
-I learn of this and am surprised that a stabbing occurred that did not involve parking lot behavior/parking space or people fighting over a potted plant in the garden center.
-News crews show up in mass. I counted 4 vehicles from channel 11, and the reporterette walks up to a number of customers leaving the building to ask them if they saw anything. Most of them would not have noticed if the building had been on fire the entire time they were shopping. I had invented a fanciful story for the media, but was not asked if I saw anything.
-15 minutes later, a van from News-First 5&30 (who were actually News-distant second in this case) arrives.
-For the rest of the day employees walk up to each other saying "you couldn't satisfy her" and pretending to stab each other. A nice change of pace, really.
- I drop $400 on an X-box 360 on my way home on a whim. I will have to cancel my weekly shooting trips for a few weeks.
-Anyways, kind of an interesting day.
-Two guys (we'll call them fat guy and skinny guy) are fighting over this woman (who I would be willing to wager any amount is not hot).
-Apparently she used to be with skinny guy but left him to be with fat guy.
-Fat guy and skinny guy just happen to run into each other at the lumber desk.
-Words are exchanged. (I'm sure the ebonics involved here were utterly hilarious.)
-Fat guy tells skinny guy something to the effect of "you couldn't satisfy her".
-Skinny guy plunges a knife into fat guy's belly. It was a short knife and a large belly, so apparently no major injury was done.
-Skinny guy proceeds to get on his cell phone and call (rumor has it) the police. He walks around holding the knife in one hand and the phone in the other until the police arrive.
-The police point guns and tasers at him and he complies. Unfortunately he was not tased, bro.
-I learn of this and am surprised that a stabbing occurred that did not involve parking lot behavior/parking space or people fighting over a potted plant in the garden center.
-News crews show up in mass. I counted 4 vehicles from channel 11, and the reporterette walks up to a number of customers leaving the building to ask them if they saw anything. Most of them would not have noticed if the building had been on fire the entire time they were shopping. I had invented a fanciful story for the media, but was not asked if I saw anything.
-15 minutes later, a van from News-First 5&30 (who were actually News-distant second in this case) arrives.
-For the rest of the day employees walk up to each other saying "you couldn't satisfy her" and pretending to stab each other. A nice change of pace, really.
- I drop $400 on an X-box 360 on my way home on a whim. I will have to cancel my weekly shooting trips for a few weeks.
-Anyways, kind of an interesting day.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Notes on Wing-Nuts.
This is going to be a post about mass hysteria, particularly of the right-wing variety.
First, I have to mention two things. The CHOW lesson I taught on Matthew 24 was probably the best I've ever done. Second, when I heard that the Navy SEALs had taken out the Somalian pirates the image in my head is of Johnny Depp's character Jack Sparrow standing around doing something latently homoerotic as Charlie Sheen's character from Navy SEALs jumps onto the boat and blows his head off. Now on to the matter at hand.
Obama Derangement Syndrome on the far right has become every bit as bad ad Bush Derangement Syndrome was on the left. To start out, I don't think President Obama has done one thing so far I have agreed with. That said, our children our going to grow up thinking the word 'Nazi' is defined as 'someone who's politics you disagree with'. A few examples.
-It seems everyone is looking to create the Founding Fathers in their own image. Reading any internet gun forum will give you several examples. Usually a quote from a letter is ripped completely out of context and used to say "The Founding Fathers believed.....". Of course the Founding Fathers were a monolithic entity who never disagreed on anything :::rolling eyes:::.
-Give the secession talk a rest already. Most of the States that would do this are ones I wouldn't really miss.
-While I'm on the subject all the states claiming their "sovereignty" might want to look that word up in the dictionary and remember the definition the next time a hurricane or ice-storm rolls through and they want monetary assistance.
-People talking about armed revolution should remember that the American Revolution was the exception, not the rule. Every other armed rebellion I know of has been much more similar to the French Revolution, with it's blood-letting and genocide than to the American Revolution. Are there really Washingtons, Jeffersons, etc. around these days? People trotting out Jefferson's quote about a revolution every 20 years would do well to assess the nations that have actually experienced armed strife on a frequent basis and see how well it's working out for them. It would be a sad irony if, in hopes of avoiding European-style Socialism we wind up bringing about African-style chaos.
-These same types like to make vague references to "respecting the Constitution", which pretty much only means the Second Amendment (which I agree with them on) and a few other portions they like. Then some mention of not recognizing Obama as President or ACORN "stealing the election" may come up. Apparently people are not familiar with Article 2 of the Constitution, according to which it only matters who the electors selected and that that person is the president until 2/3 of the Senate says otherwise.
-What set this off is my futile quest to buy three boxes of ammo for my rifle. No bullets to be found at the gun store, none online. Honestly people, I just need a few boxes to go shoot my AK-47, then you can go back to getting ready for the impending Zombie Apocalypse.
-I heard an ad on the radio for "survival seeds", and how seeds that can reproduce (non-hybrid) may become more precious than gold in the impending Zombie Apocalypse, or whatever else people are terrified of. This is the largest AM station in my city by the way. Not late at night, at like 5pm. The ad, I kid you not, mentions how they could be valuable items for barter. Barter? Barter? WTF? Honestly. W.....T......F? If we come to a scenario where you're bartering you're going to have a million additional concerns too. Remember Civil Defense Myth #2: The Survivors Are the Lucky Ones.
-Anyways the anti-Obama zealots would do well to remember how pathetic the anti-Bush zealots were and try to argue their disagreements rationally without talk of Global Conspiracy, NWO, the Rothschilds, concentration camps, lizard people, etc.
First, I have to mention two things. The CHOW lesson I taught on Matthew 24 was probably the best I've ever done. Second, when I heard that the Navy SEALs had taken out the Somalian pirates the image in my head is of Johnny Depp's character Jack Sparrow standing around doing something latently homoerotic as Charlie Sheen's character from Navy SEALs jumps onto the boat and blows his head off. Now on to the matter at hand.
Obama Derangement Syndrome on the far right has become every bit as bad ad Bush Derangement Syndrome was on the left. To start out, I don't think President Obama has done one thing so far I have agreed with. That said, our children our going to grow up thinking the word 'Nazi' is defined as 'someone who's politics you disagree with'. A few examples.
-It seems everyone is looking to create the Founding Fathers in their own image. Reading any internet gun forum will give you several examples. Usually a quote from a letter is ripped completely out of context and used to say "The Founding Fathers believed.....". Of course the Founding Fathers were a monolithic entity who never disagreed on anything :::rolling eyes:::.
-Give the secession talk a rest already. Most of the States that would do this are ones I wouldn't really miss.
-While I'm on the subject all the states claiming their "sovereignty" might want to look that word up in the dictionary and remember the definition the next time a hurricane or ice-storm rolls through and they want monetary assistance.
-People talking about armed revolution should remember that the American Revolution was the exception, not the rule. Every other armed rebellion I know of has been much more similar to the French Revolution, with it's blood-letting and genocide than to the American Revolution. Are there really Washingtons, Jeffersons, etc. around these days? People trotting out Jefferson's quote about a revolution every 20 years would do well to assess the nations that have actually experienced armed strife on a frequent basis and see how well it's working out for them. It would be a sad irony if, in hopes of avoiding European-style Socialism we wind up bringing about African-style chaos.
-These same types like to make vague references to "respecting the Constitution", which pretty much only means the Second Amendment (which I agree with them on) and a few other portions they like. Then some mention of not recognizing Obama as President or ACORN "stealing the election" may come up. Apparently people are not familiar with Article 2 of the Constitution, according to which it only matters who the electors selected and that that person is the president until 2/3 of the Senate says otherwise.
-What set this off is my futile quest to buy three boxes of ammo for my rifle. No bullets to be found at the gun store, none online. Honestly people, I just need a few boxes to go shoot my AK-47, then you can go back to getting ready for the impending Zombie Apocalypse.
-I heard an ad on the radio for "survival seeds", and how seeds that can reproduce (non-hybrid) may become more precious than gold in the impending Zombie Apocalypse, or whatever else people are terrified of. This is the largest AM station in my city by the way. Not late at night, at like 5pm. The ad, I kid you not, mentions how they could be valuable items for barter. Barter? Barter? WTF? Honestly. W.....T......F? If we come to a scenario where you're bartering you're going to have a million additional concerns too. Remember Civil Defense Myth #2: The Survivors Are the Lucky Ones.
-Anyways the anti-Obama zealots would do well to remember how pathetic the anti-Bush zealots were and try to argue their disagreements rationally without talk of Global Conspiracy, NWO, the Rothschilds, concentration camps, lizard people, etc.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Glenn Beck pwns the AG of CT
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It gets good a minute or two in after he gets to the AIG bonuses. The first minute or two is just about Chris Dodd being corrupt, which isn't exactly news between his financial dishonesty and a sex life that would make Caligula blush. I love the look on this guy's face like "what is this 'law' you speak of? My job is to enforce my political agenda." This is kind of a microcosm of everything that scares me about both the current administration and the last one. Beck really goes after him like a shark in a goldfish bowl.
It gets good a minute or two in after he gets to the AIG bonuses. The first minute or two is just about Chris Dodd being corrupt, which isn't exactly news between his financial dishonesty and a sex life that would make Caligula blush. I love the look on this guy's face like "what is this 'law' you speak of? My job is to enforce my political agenda." This is kind of a microcosm of everything that scares me about both the current administration and the last one. Beck really goes after him like a shark in a goldfish bowl.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Thoughts on Matthew 24
I've been looking through some of my books on the Olivet Discourse in preparation for this week's Bible stud. I'm going to teach Matthew 24 as punishment for last week, and because it seems to be a climax of sorts after the last few chapters. I spent the better part of a year studying the various prophetic texts during 05-06, but was hesitant to do a study on it but have kind of stumbled into that direction anyway. It is a passage that was important enough to be included in all three synoptic gospels. When I googled this passage I was able to find links to people using it to support their theories about Barack Obama, black helicopters, UFOs, socialism, and a super computer in Belgium that apparently can suck your brain out. In other words, things that could not have less to do with this passage. I don't know if anyone in my group is succeptible to this kind of sensationalism, but if so this might give them something to think about. Hopefully we can attach some spiritual principles to this rather than have it turn into me giving an hour-long lecture on the history of Roman involvement in 1st century Judea (but I'm prepared to do that if I have to). Here are some thoughts I've had refamiliarizing myself with this topic over the last week.
-I'll probably breifly summarize the events that immediately preceded this since a lot of people missed the last two weeks.
-I will start the actual study with 23:37, which looks like it would have been a better place for the chapter break.
-Note that "My Father's house" is now referred to as "your house". I think this sets the tone for the entire 24th chapter.
-There is a ton of language here that closely resembles the Old Testament prophets. This appears more in Matthew than in Luke. This makes sense since Matthew's Jewish audience would have been familiar with the OT, as opposed to the Gentiles Luke was writing to. This is why I'm using Matthew instead of Luke, because there is more that has to be explained.
-A lot of the passage, the spectacular stuff especially, is extremely similar to accounts of the Babylonian invasion, as well as the fall of Babylon.
-The "not one stone" prophecy is probably the most specific and easily verified prediction in the entire Bible. A lot of prophecies are not really understandable until after the fact.
-I don't think the disciples are asking about the physical second coming. They seem oblivious to a "first going" much less a second coming. I think the "coming" language is one of the bigger stumbling blocks in this passage. I may also tie in statements used in Matthew 10 and 17.
-The destruction of the temple and end of the age would not have been thought of as separate events by the disciples, in all likelyhood. I may need to get into the word aion and the word "age".
-verses 4-13 could apply to almost any period of history, hence they are always "being fulfilled".
-I'll need to point out Paul's statements as well as Luke 2:1 on the whole "entire world" (oikumene) thing.
-"the reader" will probably NOT understand the Abomination of Desolation thing. There are several theories about what this refers to, but I think the way it is stated by Luke makes it easier to understand. I have a parallel listing of the passage in all 3 gospels from one of the appendices of R.C. Sproul's book The Last Days According to Jesus that I will use in case I need to have 3 versions in front of me. Not sure if this will be necessary, but I don't know what to expect from a discussion like this.
-If I had to pick a song that this passage reminds me of, it would be "Run to the Hills" by Iron Maiden.
- I don't think verse 21 is literal, because from our perspective even 2/3 of the earth dying would not be worse then the flood. Similar language is used to talk about the Babylonian captivity. I'll probably also mention how Hezekiah and Josiah are both referred to as being "better than any king who came before or after". The same with 22, in regards to Babylon.
-I wonder if "vultures" or "eagles" is the better translation. Most modern ones use "vulture", I think it's cooler with "eagle" with regard to the Roman legions, but the metaphor works either way.
-The sun, moon, and stars language is something that occurs throughout the OT with regards to nations being destroyed.
-"coming on the clouds" is the same way". Easily confusing. Matthew 26:64 is a good one to use to explain the meaning
-I'll probably breifly summarize the events that immediately preceded this since a lot of people missed the last two weeks.
-I will start the actual study with 23:37, which looks like it would have been a better place for the chapter break.
-Note that "My Father's house" is now referred to as "your house". I think this sets the tone for the entire 24th chapter.
-There is a ton of language here that closely resembles the Old Testament prophets. This appears more in Matthew than in Luke. This makes sense since Matthew's Jewish audience would have been familiar with the OT, as opposed to the Gentiles Luke was writing to. This is why I'm using Matthew instead of Luke, because there is more that has to be explained.
-A lot of the passage, the spectacular stuff especially, is extremely similar to accounts of the Babylonian invasion, as well as the fall of Babylon.
-The "not one stone" prophecy is probably the most specific and easily verified prediction in the entire Bible. A lot of prophecies are not really understandable until after the fact.
-I don't think the disciples are asking about the physical second coming. They seem oblivious to a "first going" much less a second coming. I think the "coming" language is one of the bigger stumbling blocks in this passage. I may also tie in statements used in Matthew 10 and 17.
-The destruction of the temple and end of the age would not have been thought of as separate events by the disciples, in all likelyhood. I may need to get into the word aion and the word "age".
-verses 4-13 could apply to almost any period of history, hence they are always "being fulfilled".
-I'll need to point out Paul's statements as well as Luke 2:1 on the whole "entire world" (oikumene) thing.
-"the reader" will probably NOT understand the Abomination of Desolation thing. There are several theories about what this refers to, but I think the way it is stated by Luke makes it easier to understand. I have a parallel listing of the passage in all 3 gospels from one of the appendices of R.C. Sproul's book The Last Days According to Jesus that I will use in case I need to have 3 versions in front of me. Not sure if this will be necessary, but I don't know what to expect from a discussion like this.
-If I had to pick a song that this passage reminds me of, it would be "Run to the Hills" by Iron Maiden.
- I don't think verse 21 is literal, because from our perspective even 2/3 of the earth dying would not be worse then the flood. Similar language is used to talk about the Babylonian captivity. I'll probably also mention how Hezekiah and Josiah are both referred to as being "better than any king who came before or after". The same with 22, in regards to Babylon.
-I wonder if "vultures" or "eagles" is the better translation. Most modern ones use "vulture", I think it's cooler with "eagle" with regard to the Roman legions, but the metaphor works either way.
-The sun, moon, and stars language is something that occurs throughout the OT with regards to nations being destroyed.
-"coming on the clouds" is the same way". Easily confusing. Matthew 26:64 is a good one to use to explain the meaning
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Flop
Worst. CHOW. Ever.
It was one of those nights where I felt like I was talking to an oil painting. Most of our talkative people weren't there, so I was a little worried going in that I would ask questions and then hear crickets chirping. But I thought that with 5 other people there I could at least get some conversation going. Wrong. I taught Matthew 22:1-14 (Parable of the marriage feast) then jumped to chapter 23 where I did verses 1-12, 23-28, 29-36, (Jesus pissed at the Pharisees) and then 37-39 teasing the lead-in to Chapter 24. There is some seriously harsh stuff in here which you'd think would lead to some feedback. It went like this:
Me: Anything stand out to you in this parable?
Group: .........................(lots of tired eyes looking at me)
Me: The King kills them and burns down their city, any thoughts?
Group:.........................
Me: What does the king want here?
Group: ....long pause..... "to throw a party?"
Me: Yes, thank you.
Me: 'Strain a gnat and swallow a camel', thoughts?
Group:..................
Me: 'Brood of vipers', 'whitewashed tombs', 'work anecdotes', 'your house is left to you desolate', anything out of the ordinary?
That was pretty much the evening. Kind of goes to show how you never know how something will go over. When doing Romans, I had chapters that I absolutely dreaded but which led to interesting insights. This was a case where people were either tired or didn't have anything to say about the material. Everybody says "good lesson" afterwards, but it still feels like a complete flop.
So now I'm not sure where to go with it. I was going to do Chapter 24 next, but now I'm not sure. 24 is a very interesting chapter, and I've spent a lot of time studying it and have a lot of resources on it. This one would work well with a quiet group, because it would be a lot of Greek words, and how phrases are used in the prophetic sections of the OT. I think I can teach it without it being a "here let me push a theological system on you" situation. I was originally going to skip the entire section because of the hype that surrounds that passage, but it seems like a glaring omission since the last 2 or 3 weeks have kind of led up to it. Enough rambling. Anyways, you win some you lose some.
It was one of those nights where I felt like I was talking to an oil painting. Most of our talkative people weren't there, so I was a little worried going in that I would ask questions and then hear crickets chirping. But I thought that with 5 other people there I could at least get some conversation going. Wrong. I taught Matthew 22:1-14 (Parable of the marriage feast) then jumped to chapter 23 where I did verses 1-12, 23-28, 29-36, (Jesus pissed at the Pharisees) and then 37-39 teasing the lead-in to Chapter 24. There is some seriously harsh stuff in here which you'd think would lead to some feedback. It went like this:
Me: Anything stand out to you in this parable?
Group: .........................(lots of tired eyes looking at me)
Me: The King kills them and burns down their city, any thoughts?
Group:.........................
Me: What does the king want here?
Group: ....long pause..... "to throw a party?"
Me: Yes, thank you.
Me: 'Strain a gnat and swallow a camel', thoughts?
Group:..................
Me: 'Brood of vipers', 'whitewashed tombs', 'work anecdotes', 'your house is left to you desolate', anything out of the ordinary?
That was pretty much the evening. Kind of goes to show how you never know how something will go over. When doing Romans, I had chapters that I absolutely dreaded but which led to interesting insights. This was a case where people were either tired or didn't have anything to say about the material. Everybody says "good lesson" afterwards, but it still feels like a complete flop.
So now I'm not sure where to go with it. I was going to do Chapter 24 next, but now I'm not sure. 24 is a very interesting chapter, and I've spent a lot of time studying it and have a lot of resources on it. This one would work well with a quiet group, because it would be a lot of Greek words, and how phrases are used in the prophetic sections of the OT. I think I can teach it without it being a "here let me push a theological system on you" situation. I was originally going to skip the entire section because of the hype that surrounds that passage, but it seems like a glaring omission since the last 2 or 3 weeks have kind of led up to it. Enough rambling. Anyways, you win some you lose some.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Round 2
Okay, so I was 25-7 in my first round picks thanks to some late-night heroics from Wisconsin and Siena. I should have known better on Illinois. So here are my Round 2 picks. A little different format here than I used for Round 1.
Midwest
(1) Louisville VS (9) Siena
(12) Arizona VS (13) Cleveland State. Ignore my rule about schools with "State" in the name.
(3) Kansas VS (11) Dayton. Kansas has been known to make early exits, but I don't see it quite yet.
(2) MSU VS (10) USC. The Trojans are remembered fondly but people forget that, like Rocky, they lost their epic war.
East
(1) Pitt VS (8) Oklahoma State.
(4) Xavier VS (12) Wisconsin.
(3) Villanova VS (6) UCLA. Not really sold on the Pac 10 this round.
(2) Duke VS (7) Texas. Duke wins a close one before falling to 'Nova.
West
(1) UConn VS (9) Texas A&M.
(4) Washington VS (5) Purdue. Not sold on the Boilers either. This sets up Huskies vs. Huskies.
(3) Missouri VS (6) Marquette. Marquette very nearly made me look bad, so their uppance comes.
(2) Memphis VS (10) Maryland. Memphis was my pick to win it all last year, had they done so I could have won a McCain 08 fleece. They roll on.
South
(1) UNC VS (8) LSU. I'm picking UNC to win it all. That's what my gut tells me.
(4) Gonzaga VS (12) Western Kentucky.
(3) Syracuse VS (6) ASU. I'd like to make more interesting picks, but I'm just not feeling it for the Cindarellas
(2) Oklahoma VS (10) Michigan. I'd like to see them do it. I just don't think they've got the inside game, and Griffin was not thrown to the ground hard enough for that to be a factor. Best judo throw I've seen in a basketball game in quite some time though.
Midwest
(1) Louisville VS (9) Siena
(12) Arizona VS (13) Cleveland State. Ignore my rule about schools with "State" in the name.
(3) Kansas VS (11) Dayton. Kansas has been known to make early exits, but I don't see it quite yet.
(2) MSU VS (10) USC. The Trojans are remembered fondly but people forget that, like Rocky, they lost their epic war.
East
(1) Pitt VS (8) Oklahoma State.
(4) Xavier VS (12) Wisconsin.
(3) Villanova VS (6) UCLA. Not really sold on the Pac 10 this round.
(2) Duke VS (7) Texas. Duke wins a close one before falling to 'Nova.
West
(1) UConn VS (9) Texas A&M.
(4) Washington VS (5) Purdue. Not sold on the Boilers either. This sets up Huskies vs. Huskies.
(3) Missouri VS (6) Marquette. Marquette very nearly made me look bad, so their uppance comes.
(2) Memphis VS (10) Maryland. Memphis was my pick to win it all last year, had they done so I could have won a McCain 08 fleece. They roll on.
South
(1) UNC VS (8) LSU. I'm picking UNC to win it all. That's what my gut tells me.
(4) Gonzaga VS (12) Western Kentucky.
(3) Syracuse VS (6) ASU. I'd like to make more interesting picks, but I'm just not feeling it for the Cindarellas
(2) Oklahoma VS (10) Michigan. I'd like to see them do it. I just don't think they've got the inside game, and Griffin was not thrown to the ground hard enough for that to be a factor. Best judo throw I've seen in a basketball game in quite some time though.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
NCAA Round 1 Picks
Okay, so it's that time again this year. Last year I didn't do too bad with my brackets, I would have done better if Memphis had won the Championship game but it was still respectable. Anyways without further ado, here are my round 1 picks
Midwest Region
(1) Louisville VS (16) Doesn't Matter --------------Louisville
(8) OSU Suckeyes VS (9) Siena ----------------------Siena
(5) Utah VS (12) Arizona-------------------------------Arizona (a 12 always beats a 5 somewhere)
(4) Wake VS (13) Cleveland State--------------------Wake Forest
(6) WVU VS (11) Dayton------------------------------West Virginia (I'll wind up regretting this one)
(3) KU VS (14) NDSU-----------------------------------Gee, let me think.....Kansas
(7) Boston College VS (10) USC-----------------------BC, I'm picking a lot of East Coast teams
(2) MSU VS (15) Robert Morris-----------------------MSU always plays well in the early rounds.
East Region
(1) Pitt VS (16) E. Tenn----------------------------------Pitt
(8) Ok St. VS (9) Tenn.-----------------------------------Tennessee pulls out a close one
(5)FSU VS (12) Wisc.-------------------------------------Wisc, haven't seen either so: 12-5 rule.
(4) Xavier VS (13) Portland State------------Xavier, as a rule if you have the word "state" in your name, but not the name of a state I don't pick you.
(6) UCLA VS (11) VCU---------------------------------UCLA, don't pick teams if you have to look up their abreviations.
(3) Nova VS (14) American-----------------------------Nova beats them up inside
(7) Texas VS (10) Minnesota---------------------------Tejas
(2) Duke VS (15) Doesn't Matter U------------------Duke
West Region
(1) UConn VS (16) Chattanooga---------------------UConn, been to chat. don't care for the place.
(8) BYU VS (9) A&M------------------------------------A&M, why not?
(5) Purdue VS (12) Northern Iowa-------------------Boilermakers
(4) Washington (13) Miss State-----------------------Miss. State in a shocking upset!
(6) Marquette VS (11) Utah State---------------------Marq. I didn't know there was a Utah State.
(3) MIZZ VS (14) Cornell-------------------------------MU
(7) Cal VS (10) Md.---------------------------------------Terrapins, see what I mean about East Coast?
(2) Mumphis VS(15) Doesn't Matter-Northridge Memphis
South Region
(1) UNC VS Radford------------------------------------UNC, Radford we hardly knew ye
(8) LSU VS (9) Butler------------------------------------The Butler did it.
(5) Illinois VS (12) WKU-------------------------------Illini buck the 12-5 theory.
(4) Gonzaga VS (13) Akron---------------------------Zags over Zips
(6)ASU VS (11) Temple--------------------------------ASU, I usually wind up regretting the 11-6 games
(3) 'Cuse VS (14) SFA-----------------------------------Orange(men)
(7) Clemson VS (10) Michigan-----------------------lets see.....Michigan. (My oldest neice was accepted to Michigan this week. She will be in their Nursing Program.)
(2) Choklahoma VS (15) Morgan State------------OU, (see naming rules)
Anyways, my lesson about Matthew 21 tomorrow night will suck because I've been working on this tonight, but it was worth it.
Midwest Region
(1) Louisville VS (16) Doesn't Matter --------------Louisville
(8) OSU Suckeyes VS (9) Siena ----------------------Siena
(5) Utah VS (12) Arizona-------------------------------Arizona (a 12 always beats a 5 somewhere)
(4) Wake VS (13) Cleveland State--------------------Wake Forest
(6) WVU VS (11) Dayton------------------------------West Virginia (I'll wind up regretting this one)
(3) KU VS (14) NDSU-----------------------------------Gee, let me think.....Kansas
(7) Boston College VS (10) USC-----------------------BC, I'm picking a lot of East Coast teams
(2) MSU VS (15) Robert Morris-----------------------MSU always plays well in the early rounds.
East Region
(1) Pitt VS (16) E. Tenn----------------------------------Pitt
(8) Ok St. VS (9) Tenn.-----------------------------------Tennessee pulls out a close one
(5)FSU VS (12) Wisc.-------------------------------------Wisc, haven't seen either so: 12-5 rule.
(4) Xavier VS (13) Portland State------------Xavier, as a rule if you have the word "state" in your name, but not the name of a state I don't pick you.
(6) UCLA VS (11) VCU---------------------------------UCLA, don't pick teams if you have to look up their abreviations.
(3) Nova VS (14) American-----------------------------Nova beats them up inside
(7) Texas VS (10) Minnesota---------------------------Tejas
(2) Duke VS (15) Doesn't Matter U------------------Duke
West Region
(1) UConn VS (16) Chattanooga---------------------UConn, been to chat. don't care for the place.
(8) BYU VS (9) A&M------------------------------------A&M, why not?
(5) Purdue VS (12) Northern Iowa-------------------Boilermakers
(4) Washington (13) Miss State-----------------------Miss. State in a shocking upset!
(6) Marquette VS (11) Utah State---------------------Marq. I didn't know there was a Utah State.
(3) MIZZ VS (14) Cornell-------------------------------MU
(7) Cal VS (10) Md.---------------------------------------Terrapins, see what I mean about East Coast?
(2) Mumphis VS(15) Doesn't Matter-Northridge Memphis
South Region
(1) UNC VS Radford------------------------------------UNC, Radford we hardly knew ye
(8) LSU VS (9) Butler------------------------------------The Butler did it.
(5) Illinois VS (12) WKU-------------------------------Illini buck the 12-5 theory.
(4) Gonzaga VS (13) Akron---------------------------Zags over Zips
(6)ASU VS (11) Temple--------------------------------ASU, I usually wind up regretting the 11-6 games
(3) 'Cuse VS (14) SFA-----------------------------------Orange(men)
(7) Clemson VS (10) Michigan-----------------------lets see.....Michigan. (My oldest neice was accepted to Michigan this week. She will be in their Nursing Program.)
(2) Choklahoma VS (15) Morgan State------------OU, (see naming rules)
Anyways, my lesson about Matthew 21 tomorrow night will suck because I've been working on this tonight, but it was worth it.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Bible Study Ideas.
I'm leading my Wednesday night bible study group from now until Easter, and have been turned loose to basically do whaterver I want in terms of topics. (I'm not sure what they were thinking either.) I'm planning to teach on various aspects of the end of Jesus' ministry leading up to the crucifixion. I did last week's on the resurrection of Lazarus, because I was sick for several days and didn't feel like doing my normal prep-work. I also figured this particular story would be a very easy one to teach. I'm not planning to actually do the crucifixion or resurrection, but to end with the last supper. I figure all the professionals will be doing Passion related stuff during this time period and I want to be different. My tentative plan so far is as follows.
-3/11: Various Parables from Matthew 20 and Luke 14-16, picked based on what I think people will have comments about.
-3/18: More Luke parables or NCAA Basketball, whichever people are more interested in.
-3/25: Whatever I feel like doing from Sun-Wed. of Passion Week (skipping the Olivet Discourse). I may use the book of Mark for this one so I'll have done something from each Gospel.
-4/2: The Last Supper.
-3/11: Various Parables from Matthew 20 and Luke 14-16, picked based on what I think people will have comments about.
-3/18: More Luke parables or NCAA Basketball, whichever people are more interested in.
-3/25: Whatever I feel like doing from Sun-Wed. of Passion Week (skipping the Olivet Discourse). I may use the book of Mark for this one so I'll have done something from each Gospel.
-4/2: The Last Supper.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Finally Joined the 21st Century.
So, I have finally broken down and gotten a cell phone. I have been without one almost uninterruptedly since right before Nick got married, a little over 8 years ago. As I recall, that one was shut off because I didn't pay the bill. Anyways, now I will be able to:
-Talk loudly about personal matters while standing in line in front of you at the store
-Leave it on so it can ring loudly in church.
-Send text messages while sitting in front of you at the movie theater, ensuring that my brightly lit screen annoys you for the duration of the film. (Yeah, I got the text messaging package too.)
-Send people gross images of whatever I happen to have seen on the sidewalk.
-Leave my phone on in my locker at work so whoever is trying to take their break can listen to my loud punk rock ringtone for several minutes if anyone tries to call me.
-Crash into your car because I'm distracted by talking and don't realize everyone in front of me has stopped.
And when football season rolls around I will probably add the mobile web service so I can follow college football even when I'm working (provided they have a college football season this year, since there WAS NOT ONE last year.)
Anyways, my new number is (719) 964-3813.
-Talk loudly about personal matters while standing in line in front of you at the store
-Leave it on so it can ring loudly in church.
-Send text messages while sitting in front of you at the movie theater, ensuring that my brightly lit screen annoys you for the duration of the film. (Yeah, I got the text messaging package too.)
-Send people gross images of whatever I happen to have seen on the sidewalk.
-Leave my phone on in my locker at work so whoever is trying to take their break can listen to my loud punk rock ringtone for several minutes if anyone tries to call me.
-Crash into your car because I'm distracted by talking and don't realize everyone in front of me has stopped.
And when football season rolls around I will probably add the mobile web service so I can follow college football even when I'm working (provided they have a college football season this year, since there WAS NOT ONE last year.)
Anyways, my new number is (719) 964-3813.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
The State of the Union: Undressed.
I'll be writing my opinions on The Prez's big speech tonight as they occur, but first I have a very important philosophical question. Who is crazier: the chimp lady in Connecticut, or Nadya "Octopussy" Suleman in California? I'm torn on this. Also, not all of the facts are out but I'd be willing to bet any amount of money that "Chimp Lady" did NOT vote for John McCain. Let me explain. Both political wings have certain forms of lunacy. Tricking yourself into thinking a wild ape is your son Travis can be pretty easily classified in this regard.Without further ado, I got your stimulus package right here.
-As the Congress files into the room, I'm once again reminded that our country is ruled by the town counsel from "Footloose".
-I'm watching the ABC coverage which should be sufficiently reverent.
-Did you know Obama was named "Gun Salesman of the Year"?
-I hope Antonin Scalia is taking good care of himself.
-Is Biden's son in uniform there the son that is/was being indicted?
-A guy named "Chesley" has to be a bad-ass.
-Now comes the cabinet. Kind of crazy that Hillary passed the vetting process, but not Richardson or P. Dischle (formerly known as Puff Daschle). I won't be surprised if Hillary is his running mate in 2012.
-Can somebody tell me how racking up huge new debts is "change" from W? Debt is debt, regardless of your intentions.
-The president's goal is to go directly to the people funding the stimulus package, but unfortunately it is after 9 pm on the east coast and those people have already been tucked into bed by their parents.
-And the crowd goes wild. Remember that happy looking guy. We'll see how he looks as the years roll on.
-Jackson Jr in the house! Remember, no modern farce is complete without a cameo appearance from Jesse Jackson.
-The president has spent more money so far than any one save Pelosi's plastic surgeon.
-Think that's really water in Biden's glass?
-Is Biden texting?
-For a hope-monger he sure paints a bleak picture.
-Can someone please keep Chris Dodd's face and Barney Franks' voice off of my tv.
-He's laying the blueprint for the rise of disaster socialism.
-5 minutes in and nothing but platitudes.
-The idea that his economic agenda will bring down the deficit is so ridiculous only an intellectual could believe it.
-Everybody in Cuba has a job don't they?
-Cuba is still a Third World Socialist hell-hole isn't it?
-Without using the phrase "George Bush", do you really believe the stimulus will create the number of jobs he's saying? Be honest. With me and with yourself.
-The number of people who pay taxes is less than 95%
-"Wellfare as we know it" is back with a vengeance!
-If you've been going through tough times but have been paying your mortgage any way.... you are officially a sucker.
-The banks have really made a deal with the devil on this bailout. You don't pull a fast one on the Feds, the Feds pull a fast one on you.
-Does any one realize how ridiculous it is to claim that the Bush admin was too capitalistic?
-He doesn't get it. (Remember that line?)
-He gives a classic example of the Broken Windows Fallacy when talking about the need to "invest" in financial institutions.
-Government IS the solution.
-Mo' money, mo' money money!
-Here comes the "green jobs" crap.
-Listening to him talk about energy makes it clear that the moonbats really are in charge. There should be a law that you can't use the words "efficiency" and "government" in the same sentence.
-The automobile would never be invented today. Too many regulations.
-An American goes bankrupt from health care bills every thirty seconds. This is unacceptable. We're all going to go bankrupt paying health care bills. Keep in mind a government that goes broke under it's own debt can provide health care to zero children.
-Apparently you have the "right" to have your doctor bills paid for by someone else.
-We're going to spend a lot more on churning out kids with diplomas they can barely read.
-This just in. Our educational system is run by morons. Hate to be the one to have to point this out. From the Right trying to destroy science education to the Left trying to destroy the way History is taught, we've pretty well got our bases covered.
-Can you imagine if the government ran the only fast-food restaurant in your town? What do you suppose the food would taste like? How would the service be?
-Dropping out of high school is "no longer an option". "We need the skills of every American"? That sent a chill through my fucking blood.
-We're going to give kids more money. The colleges will say "Well, I guess these kids can afford more!"
-Brain tumor or not, Ted Kennedy can pound sand.
-Honestly, He KILLED someone. Am I supposed to be cool with that? Is Manson an okay guy now because he hasn't killed lately?
-Education might be the most over-priced commodity there is in this nation.
-We can't pass on debt? Let's at least wait for it to become history before revising it.
-Mentions "inheriting debt". Stay classy, moonbats. Remember "Change" means more of the same with regard to debt.
-I'd place a wager that he will not end farm subsidies.
-If he hadn't just signed a trillion dollar monstrosity, I might believe him. Apparently the Salt Water Marsh Mice will spend a lot of that money they got.
-Higher corporate taxes equal more jobs?
-We live in a Victimocracy at this point in our development so his "hose the rich" plan might be popular.
-Remember how Democrats cared when Iraq was costing so much money? They were right. (for more on the topic of debt, please read American Theocracy by Kevin Phillips) Once again, our children will not care why we put them into crushing debt, simply that we did it at all.
-Terrorists will not plot against us from safe havens half-way around the world- They'll do it from right here God-damn it! Not that Bush was any better about border security.
-Did he screw up the Git'mo thing or what? You've been campaigning on this since '04 and you're just now going think of an alternative?
-Nancy Pelosi's smirk is torture.
-There's a dead body in the room!!!! Oh, never mind it's just John Kerry.
-Did you know: The "Kool-Aid" at Jonestown was actually Flavorade?
-True story.
-Him trying to expand the power of government to unheard of levels and my opposition to it is neither petty nor trivial. The last guy did that too, and do you remember how bad that turned out? Remember Lord Acton's Axiom?
-Would you rather be water-boarded or have sex with Dianne Feinstein?
-How bad could it be?
-The water-boarding I mean. I think I'd have to say get the towel.
-Christopher Hitchens got water-boarded. He says it's torture.
-Have you noticed that I haven't personally insulted the president? Every one else, yes. President Obama, no.
-So there you have it. Huge spending and an incredibly vague claim about cutting "unnecessary spending" You may either keep reading for my views on this Jindal kid who I've had my eye on.
Or, you can go right to the comments section and call me a racist for opposing the president. (But keep in mind I'll do the same thing if he ever catches static from the left.) Line of the night: "I do not believe in bigger government". Does any one believe that?
-I agree with him about the war-budgeting thing. I also think some of the banking regulations will be a good thing. For good or ill, this is the beginning of a new era for this country. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I hope this stuff works because it's going to happen either way. I don't want to be like the people on the Left who were so invested in failure they couldn't believe that Iraq was turning around no matter what actually happened on the ground. Would I bet on that outcome? Hell no.
-As he walks out I notice some school-girls. It is good to have a president you can trust around the young ladies.
-I liked the whole "death penalty for child-rape" thing they had going in Louisiana. Do it In My Name, I'll sign for it if necessary.
-Jindal pays tribute to Obama's blackness.
-Then he has to point out that he has minority creds too.
-Sounds like his dad should have gone to a socialist utopia.
-I like that Jindal is not lining up at the teat.
-Not sure bringing up Katrina is a great idea.
-I like that he's pointing out the bad side of government inefficiency.
-Is there anything sadder than seeing what's become of (formerly)Great Britain.
-Did you know that if you spent a million dollars a day every day from the birth of Christ until now, you still wouldn't exceed the amount of the "stimulus package".
-He needs to keep hammering them on the stupid stuff in this bill.
-We still need to drill for oil.
-Ten years from now, they'll be telling us that it will take ten years to get to the oil we still haven't drilled for. And make no mistake about it, we will still be enriching our enemies because we don't want to risk the lives of caribou.
-School choice is antithetical to everything Obama stands for. He mentioned it, but don't be surprised when it never quite materializes.
-Talk about the border please.
-The Federal Government has never led us astray before has it?
-He's talking about people being responsible for themselves. What a hate-monger! Doesn't he know some people are victims?
-I like Jindal. This will fall on deaf ears, but may help his standing in the party. Now please, tell me how bad Bush was some more.
-As the Congress files into the room, I'm once again reminded that our country is ruled by the town counsel from "Footloose".
-I'm watching the ABC coverage which should be sufficiently reverent.
-Did you know Obama was named "Gun Salesman of the Year"?
-I hope Antonin Scalia is taking good care of himself.
-Is Biden's son in uniform there the son that is/was being indicted?
-A guy named "Chesley" has to be a bad-ass.
-Now comes the cabinet. Kind of crazy that Hillary passed the vetting process, but not Richardson or P. Dischle (formerly known as Puff Daschle). I won't be surprised if Hillary is his running mate in 2012.
-Can somebody tell me how racking up huge new debts is "change" from W? Debt is debt, regardless of your intentions.
-The president's goal is to go directly to the people funding the stimulus package, but unfortunately it is after 9 pm on the east coast and those people have already been tucked into bed by their parents.
-And the crowd goes wild. Remember that happy looking guy. We'll see how he looks as the years roll on.
-Jackson Jr in the house! Remember, no modern farce is complete without a cameo appearance from Jesse Jackson.
-The president has spent more money so far than any one save Pelosi's plastic surgeon.
-Think that's really water in Biden's glass?
-Is Biden texting?
-For a hope-monger he sure paints a bleak picture.
-Can someone please keep Chris Dodd's face and Barney Franks' voice off of my tv.
-He's laying the blueprint for the rise of disaster socialism.
-5 minutes in and nothing but platitudes.
-The idea that his economic agenda will bring down the deficit is so ridiculous only an intellectual could believe it.
-Everybody in Cuba has a job don't they?
-Cuba is still a Third World Socialist hell-hole isn't it?
-Without using the phrase "George Bush", do you really believe the stimulus will create the number of jobs he's saying? Be honest. With me and with yourself.
-The number of people who pay taxes is less than 95%
-"Wellfare as we know it" is back with a vengeance!
-If you've been going through tough times but have been paying your mortgage any way.... you are officially a sucker.
-The banks have really made a deal with the devil on this bailout. You don't pull a fast one on the Feds, the Feds pull a fast one on you.
-Does any one realize how ridiculous it is to claim that the Bush admin was too capitalistic?
-He doesn't get it. (Remember that line?)
-He gives a classic example of the Broken Windows Fallacy when talking about the need to "invest" in financial institutions.
-Government IS the solution.
-Mo' money, mo' money money!
-Here comes the "green jobs" crap.
-Listening to him talk about energy makes it clear that the moonbats really are in charge. There should be a law that you can't use the words "efficiency" and "government" in the same sentence.
-The automobile would never be invented today. Too many regulations.
-An American goes bankrupt from health care bills every thirty seconds. This is unacceptable. We're all going to go bankrupt paying health care bills. Keep in mind a government that goes broke under it's own debt can provide health care to zero children.
-Apparently you have the "right" to have your doctor bills paid for by someone else.
-We're going to spend a lot more on churning out kids with diplomas they can barely read.
-This just in. Our educational system is run by morons. Hate to be the one to have to point this out. From the Right trying to destroy science education to the Left trying to destroy the way History is taught, we've pretty well got our bases covered.
-Can you imagine if the government ran the only fast-food restaurant in your town? What do you suppose the food would taste like? How would the service be?
-Dropping out of high school is "no longer an option". "We need the skills of every American"? That sent a chill through my fucking blood.
-We're going to give kids more money. The colleges will say "Well, I guess these kids can afford more!"
-Brain tumor or not, Ted Kennedy can pound sand.
-Honestly, He KILLED someone. Am I supposed to be cool with that? Is Manson an okay guy now because he hasn't killed lately?
-Education might be the most over-priced commodity there is in this nation.
-We can't pass on debt? Let's at least wait for it to become history before revising it.
-Mentions "inheriting debt". Stay classy, moonbats. Remember "Change" means more of the same with regard to debt.
-I'd place a wager that he will not end farm subsidies.
-If he hadn't just signed a trillion dollar monstrosity, I might believe him. Apparently the Salt Water Marsh Mice will spend a lot of that money they got.
-Higher corporate taxes equal more jobs?
-We live in a Victimocracy at this point in our development so his "hose the rich" plan might be popular.
-Remember how Democrats cared when Iraq was costing so much money? They were right. (for more on the topic of debt, please read American Theocracy by Kevin Phillips) Once again, our children will not care why we put them into crushing debt, simply that we did it at all.
-Terrorists will not plot against us from safe havens half-way around the world- They'll do it from right here God-damn it! Not that Bush was any better about border security.
-Did he screw up the Git'mo thing or what? You've been campaigning on this since '04 and you're just now going think of an alternative?
-Nancy Pelosi's smirk is torture.
-There's a dead body in the room!!!! Oh, never mind it's just John Kerry.
-Did you know: The "Kool-Aid" at Jonestown was actually Flavorade?
-True story.
-Him trying to expand the power of government to unheard of levels and my opposition to it is neither petty nor trivial. The last guy did that too, and do you remember how bad that turned out? Remember Lord Acton's Axiom?
-Would you rather be water-boarded or have sex with Dianne Feinstein?
-How bad could it be?
-The water-boarding I mean. I think I'd have to say get the towel.
-Christopher Hitchens got water-boarded. He says it's torture.
-Have you noticed that I haven't personally insulted the president? Every one else, yes. President Obama, no.
-So there you have it. Huge spending and an incredibly vague claim about cutting "unnecessary spending" You may either keep reading for my views on this Jindal kid who I've had my eye on.
Or, you can go right to the comments section and call me a racist for opposing the president. (But keep in mind I'll do the same thing if he ever catches static from the left.) Line of the night: "I do not believe in bigger government". Does any one believe that?
-I agree with him about the war-budgeting thing. I also think some of the banking regulations will be a good thing. For good or ill, this is the beginning of a new era for this country. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I hope this stuff works because it's going to happen either way. I don't want to be like the people on the Left who were so invested in failure they couldn't believe that Iraq was turning around no matter what actually happened on the ground. Would I bet on that outcome? Hell no.
-As he walks out I notice some school-girls. It is good to have a president you can trust around the young ladies.
-I liked the whole "death penalty for child-rape" thing they had going in Louisiana. Do it In My Name, I'll sign for it if necessary.
-Jindal pays tribute to Obama's blackness.
-Then he has to point out that he has minority creds too.
-Sounds like his dad should have gone to a socialist utopia.
-I like that Jindal is not lining up at the teat.
-Not sure bringing up Katrina is a great idea.
-I like that he's pointing out the bad side of government inefficiency.
-Is there anything sadder than seeing what's become of (formerly)Great Britain.
-Did you know that if you spent a million dollars a day every day from the birth of Christ until now, you still wouldn't exceed the amount of the "stimulus package".
-He needs to keep hammering them on the stupid stuff in this bill.
-We still need to drill for oil.
-Ten years from now, they'll be telling us that it will take ten years to get to the oil we still haven't drilled for. And make no mistake about it, we will still be enriching our enemies because we don't want to risk the lives of caribou.
-School choice is antithetical to everything Obama stands for. He mentioned it, but don't be surprised when it never quite materializes.
-Talk about the border please.
-The Federal Government has never led us astray before has it?
-He's talking about people being responsible for themselves. What a hate-monger! Doesn't he know some people are victims?
-I like Jindal. This will fall on deaf ears, but may help his standing in the party. Now please, tell me how bad Bush was some more.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Super Bowl Commercials.
This won't be an extensive list, just the highlights and (mainly) lowlights.
-The Morons From PETA weren't allowed to show their commercial. I was hoping to see it because I wanted to um....research the moonbat mind...yeah, that's the ticket. I'll have to check the notes of our own (soon to be Colorado resident) Bob W. who has been doing some research in the area of vegetarian-moonbat females.
-I'd like to thank godaddy.com for reminding us that we as a society have completely worn away our knuckles and now it is our wrists that drag the ground when we walk.
-The Bud-Light commercial where the guy was thrown from the window made me chuckle a little.
-The Doritos snow-globe commercial was my favorite. Admit it, you knew it would hit the boss but weren't expecting the crotch strike. That had me and Nick cracking up. The one later where the guy gets electrocuted was a close second. I'm a sucker for physical comedy I guess.
-Hey Pepsi, we know what's going on with your new logo. As you can probably tell from my picture on this page I am not Hoping for Change. I can't be the only one to make this connection.
-None of the Clydesdale commercials did anything for me. I can't remember the last time I drank a Budweiser either.
-Hey So "G" is gatorade. I've been seeing those commercials for months. I've never wanted to buy a bottle of Powerade so bad in my entire life.
-The NBC commercials just made me realize how weak their lineup is. I think losing Scrubs was addition by subtraction as that is the worst program currently airing on television, gratingly unfunny and cheesy to boot.
-At first I thought I was having a seizure during the 3-D commercial. Then I thought "I hope people didn't have to pay for those 3-D goggles". Until I saw the blonde from Chuck crawling toward the screen. Then I thought "Man, I wish I'd bought some of those 3-D goggles".
-Hey, you knew what I was when you picked me up.
-What the Hell is the deal with truck commercials? Not just tonight. Every pickup truck commercial has flaming ramps, or truck bodies swinging from chains, or something equally stupid. And then we sit around asking ourselves why the Big 3 are about to go belly-up? (I realize the other manufacturers are just as bad, but when's the last time you saw a commercial for a truck that made you feel like it had given you a reason to buy it?)
-The Coke Zero commercial with Troy P. turned out to be better than I thought at first. It's hard for him to pull off the Mean Joe vibe with his Michael Jackson-voice. But it did turn out kind of funny. Coke and Doritoes did pretty well tonight.
-Today was one of those days where I wanted to punch a small animal. I could have done without the skimpy-underwear-guy though.
-Taco Bell- You call a woman two days after getting her number. No more. No less. Any quicker and she thinks you're desperate (which I am, but she doesn't need to know that), any more and she's pissed that you made her wait 3 days.
-I was too into the game to take notes on the later commercials.
-Wow, a MacGuyver (MacGruber) commercial in 2009! How timely! How hip! This commercial reminded me what my favorite show was in elementary school and how bad SNL has gotten at the same time.
-Anyways, those are the only ones I felt the need to comment on. Overall, it was a very good Super Bowl.
-James Brown is dead. I thought so, but couldn't remember when I heard Michaels mention him. I had to look it up on wikipedia.
-The Morons From PETA weren't allowed to show their commercial. I was hoping to see it because I wanted to um....research the moonbat mind...yeah, that's the ticket. I'll have to check the notes of our own (soon to be Colorado resident) Bob W. who has been doing some research in the area of vegetarian-moonbat females.
-I'd like to thank godaddy.com for reminding us that we as a society have completely worn away our knuckles and now it is our wrists that drag the ground when we walk.
-The Bud-Light commercial where the guy was thrown from the window made me chuckle a little.
-The Doritos snow-globe commercial was my favorite. Admit it, you knew it would hit the boss but weren't expecting the crotch strike. That had me and Nick cracking up. The one later where the guy gets electrocuted was a close second. I'm a sucker for physical comedy I guess.
-Hey Pepsi, we know what's going on with your new logo. As you can probably tell from my picture on this page I am not Hoping for Change. I can't be the only one to make this connection.
-None of the Clydesdale commercials did anything for me. I can't remember the last time I drank a Budweiser either.
-Hey So "G" is gatorade. I've been seeing those commercials for months. I've never wanted to buy a bottle of Powerade so bad in my entire life.
-The NBC commercials just made me realize how weak their lineup is. I think losing Scrubs was addition by subtraction as that is the worst program currently airing on television, gratingly unfunny and cheesy to boot.
-At first I thought I was having a seizure during the 3-D commercial. Then I thought "I hope people didn't have to pay for those 3-D goggles". Until I saw the blonde from Chuck crawling toward the screen. Then I thought "Man, I wish I'd bought some of those 3-D goggles".
-Hey, you knew what I was when you picked me up.
-What the Hell is the deal with truck commercials? Not just tonight. Every pickup truck commercial has flaming ramps, or truck bodies swinging from chains, or something equally stupid. And then we sit around asking ourselves why the Big 3 are about to go belly-up? (I realize the other manufacturers are just as bad, but when's the last time you saw a commercial for a truck that made you feel like it had given you a reason to buy it?)
-The Coke Zero commercial with Troy P. turned out to be better than I thought at first. It's hard for him to pull off the Mean Joe vibe with his Michael Jackson-voice. But it did turn out kind of funny. Coke and Doritoes did pretty well tonight.
-Today was one of those days where I wanted to punch a small animal. I could have done without the skimpy-underwear-guy though.
-Taco Bell- You call a woman two days after getting her number. No more. No less. Any quicker and she thinks you're desperate (which I am, but she doesn't need to know that), any more and she's pissed that you made her wait 3 days.
-I was too into the game to take notes on the later commercials.
-Wow, a MacGuyver (MacGruber) commercial in 2009! How timely! How hip! This commercial reminded me what my favorite show was in elementary school and how bad SNL has gotten at the same time.
-Anyways, those are the only ones I felt the need to comment on. Overall, it was a very good Super Bowl.
-James Brown is dead. I thought so, but couldn't remember when I heard Michaels mention him. I had to look it up on wikipedia.
The Stupid Bowl: A Steve's Eye View of the Big Game.
Whoa. What a game. People forget that they didn't start having competitive games on a regular basis until like 1999. Before that they were usually like 107-14 final scores. Here are my witty observations on the game the Halftime show and the commercials in no particular order.
Game:
-I didn't like the way the bottom line flashed yellow at the end of every play. It made me think there was a penalty every play.
- #68 on the Steelers looks like Early Man from the evolution chart.
-This looked like one of those 42-10 games through the first 15:00.
-I'm not used to hearing Madden calling a game without asking if the last play was a horse-collar tackle on every play. And can we get rid of the horse trailer already?
-The weirdest moment to me was Al Michaels saying that James Harrison was "running like James Brown" during the INT return. I assume he means the time James Brown led deputies on a long car chase after getting "high on God" and waving a gun around at people.
-I wanted to hear the reporter ask Kurt Warner if he blamed Jesus for the INT. Admit it. You're sick of hearing guys thank God for how they performed in a game. The fact that you're alive and healthy is much more thanks-worthy.
-Is James Brown still alive? I thought he died, but now I can't remember.
-I love Scotch.
-During halftime I got to see Matt Millen. Thanks NBC! Millen already knows what he can go do with himself as far as I'm concerned. All that was missing was Joey Harrington or Charles Rogers on the set.
-Have you ever looked at pics of Mrs. Warner from when they met? Let's just say it's amazing how much better looking a person can get when their husband goes from grocery-bagger to NFL superstar. Granted, there's only one person I know of who's made that particular transition.
-Imagine how fast Troy P (not even gonna try on the spelling) would be without 25 pounds of hair to carry around.
-8-10 years ago, I'd have told you that NFL officiating was the best of the 4 major team sports by a wide margin. This is no longer the case. They may still win by default, but the decline in quality has been staggering.
-I saw a ton of Steelers fans today, but not any Cardinals ones. This is not surprising since Phoenix is a place people move to, as opposed to Pittsburgh which is a place you get the Hell out of as soon as you are old enough to do so. Not a knock here, census data pretty much backs this up.
-Larry Fitzgerald is not human.
-I can't remember the last time I saw a safety in the Super Bowl. I thought up 20-14 Pittsburgh should have taken a safety rather than punt from the back of the endzone. Didn't come to that because of the holding but it would have been an interesting choice if it had come to it on 4th down.
-Jesus strikes again with the last second fumble. I'm pretty spent at this point. That was a great game.
-I'm looking for an 0-16 commemorative shirt. Now that's making history.
-Do you think Broadway Joe had been imbibing? I thought maybe so when he came out with the trophy, but I noticed the sideline babes were nowhere near him. Probably a good way for NBC to avoid a lawsuit.
Halftime show:
-Thanks to Justin Timberlake we get over-the-hill rock and roll types for these events now. This may not be a bad thing since up until nipple-gate the league was trying to grab the "urban" demographic which meant hip hop with sleazy dancing going on. I don't mean "sleazy" in a good way either. A lot of that crap was about as erotic as a table dance from Trent Lott. They tried to go middle ground with Prince, sleazy and washed up all in one package, so maybe this is a step forward.
-I was remided of a few thanksgivings ago when they had the genius idea to have John Fogerty do the halftime show for all three games. I hope the person who said "hey let's get somebody most people under 40 didn't realize was still alive and fly him all over the country so the audience can watch him 3 times!" was either fired or beaten to death.
-The Boss kind of sounded like a TV preacher when he came out and started talking didn't he? He's like "Put down the guacamole.....and plant a seed-uh, a seed of faith-uh".
-How'd you like to be one of those guys in the front row with The Boss's crotch right in your face? You can't move back because of the crowd, and he just keeps coming closer and closer.
-Hey now I know what that's like because he came sliding crotch first right into the camera, clearly making contact. Now I know why people watch the lingerie bowl or whatever stupid crap they show opposite the game.
-Glory Days. First of all, sing it right. Nothing says "over the hill" like changing the song lyrics to fit the situation. Your friend was a baseball player back in high school. All though this performance certainly underscored the message of the song as The Boss's Glory Days sure have passed him by.
-Am I being a little hard on Springsteen? I guess after last year I should be greatful that it's at least a performer who solidly belongs to one sexual orientation or the other.
Next up......My take on the commercials.
Game:
-I didn't like the way the bottom line flashed yellow at the end of every play. It made me think there was a penalty every play.
- #68 on the Steelers looks like Early Man from the evolution chart.
-This looked like one of those 42-10 games through the first 15:00.
-I'm not used to hearing Madden calling a game without asking if the last play was a horse-collar tackle on every play. And can we get rid of the horse trailer already?
-The weirdest moment to me was Al Michaels saying that James Harrison was "running like James Brown" during the INT return. I assume he means the time James Brown led deputies on a long car chase after getting "high on God" and waving a gun around at people.
-I wanted to hear the reporter ask Kurt Warner if he blamed Jesus for the INT. Admit it. You're sick of hearing guys thank God for how they performed in a game. The fact that you're alive and healthy is much more thanks-worthy.
-Is James Brown still alive? I thought he died, but now I can't remember.
-I love Scotch.
-During halftime I got to see Matt Millen. Thanks NBC! Millen already knows what he can go do with himself as far as I'm concerned. All that was missing was Joey Harrington or Charles Rogers on the set.
-Have you ever looked at pics of Mrs. Warner from when they met? Let's just say it's amazing how much better looking a person can get when their husband goes from grocery-bagger to NFL superstar. Granted, there's only one person I know of who's made that particular transition.
-Imagine how fast Troy P (not even gonna try on the spelling) would be without 25 pounds of hair to carry around.
-8-10 years ago, I'd have told you that NFL officiating was the best of the 4 major team sports by a wide margin. This is no longer the case. They may still win by default, but the decline in quality has been staggering.
-I saw a ton of Steelers fans today, but not any Cardinals ones. This is not surprising since Phoenix is a place people move to, as opposed to Pittsburgh which is a place you get the Hell out of as soon as you are old enough to do so. Not a knock here, census data pretty much backs this up.
-Larry Fitzgerald is not human.
-I can't remember the last time I saw a safety in the Super Bowl. I thought up 20-14 Pittsburgh should have taken a safety rather than punt from the back of the endzone. Didn't come to that because of the holding but it would have been an interesting choice if it had come to it on 4th down.
-Jesus strikes again with the last second fumble. I'm pretty spent at this point. That was a great game.
-I'm looking for an 0-16 commemorative shirt. Now that's making history.
-Do you think Broadway Joe had been imbibing? I thought maybe so when he came out with the trophy, but I noticed the sideline babes were nowhere near him. Probably a good way for NBC to avoid a lawsuit.
Halftime show:
-Thanks to Justin Timberlake we get over-the-hill rock and roll types for these events now. This may not be a bad thing since up until nipple-gate the league was trying to grab the "urban" demographic which meant hip hop with sleazy dancing going on. I don't mean "sleazy" in a good way either. A lot of that crap was about as erotic as a table dance from Trent Lott. They tried to go middle ground with Prince, sleazy and washed up all in one package, so maybe this is a step forward.
-I was remided of a few thanksgivings ago when they had the genius idea to have John Fogerty do the halftime show for all three games. I hope the person who said "hey let's get somebody most people under 40 didn't realize was still alive and fly him all over the country so the audience can watch him 3 times!" was either fired or beaten to death.
-The Boss kind of sounded like a TV preacher when he came out and started talking didn't he? He's like "Put down the guacamole.....and plant a seed-uh, a seed of faith-uh".
-How'd you like to be one of those guys in the front row with The Boss's crotch right in your face? You can't move back because of the crowd, and he just keeps coming closer and closer.
-Hey now I know what that's like because he came sliding crotch first right into the camera, clearly making contact. Now I know why people watch the lingerie bowl or whatever stupid crap they show opposite the game.
-Glory Days. First of all, sing it right. Nothing says "over the hill" like changing the song lyrics to fit the situation. Your friend was a baseball player back in high school. All though this performance certainly underscored the message of the song as The Boss's Glory Days sure have passed him by.
-Am I being a little hard on Springsteen? I guess after last year I should be greatful that it's at least a performer who solidly belongs to one sexual orientation or the other.
Next up......My take on the commercials.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Super Bowl Pick
So, my heart says Cardinals, but I think the Steelers defense will be the major factor here with the offense contributing just enough big plays.
Final score prediction: Steelers 24, Cardinals 14.
Final score prediction: Steelers 24, Cardinals 14.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Inauguration Musings.
Okay, so here are my inauguration day thoughts and observations. Along with a few thoughts on the election.
-First, the best one-sentence (kind of) breakdown of the election I've heard was from liberal radio host Ed Schultz who said: (paraphrased) "We're in the middle of two wars and a recession and what do they want to talk about? Bill Ayers? Joe the Plumber? Lipstick? Middle names? And they wonder why they got their asses kicked? " This kind of sums it all up right here.
-I can say this now. I don't think Sarah Palin is a stupid person, but she certainly plays one convincingly on tv. It was pretty much all downhill after the convention speech. "I read everything, Katie. All of them." Bob mentioned wishing I were the candidate when they asked that question. I'd have said "well, I read Russian literature, far-left garbage that I hear recommended on Democracy NOW!, books detailing the history and formation of Al-Qiada (which you'd think I'd remember how to spell by now), books about violent predators/ crime prevention, and the Bible."
-The most disturbing quote I heard all year was President Obama responding to criticism of his mind-boggling spending proposals. He said "If we can afford to spend $10 billion a month in Iraq...blah, blah, blah". This disturbed me for a couple of reasons. 1) We can't afford it. That money is being borrowed, not "spent". This is one thing he and I agreed on. 2) Debt doesn't work on a "fairness doctrine". Bush put us deep in the red, so we should let the next guy put us deeper into the hole? That's a good way to go broke twice as fast.
-How the hell did that Blago guy get elected? The word "douchebag" comes to mind. Also, George Will's statement remains true that "no modern farce is complete without a cameo appearance by Jesse Jackson."
-I have had more than enough of Sean Hannity. I think he's a well meaning idiot, but an idiot nonetheless. Yeah, we know already... Bill Ayers. If I have to hear that name one more time I'm going to throw up. Don't get me wrong I haven't heard a single defense of Ayers that wasn't intellectually pathetic or solely reliant on some questionable moral relativist argument. e.g. "He did it a long time ago (up until the early 80's)" or "other people do bad things too". That said I don't care that Obama was tangentially involved with the guy. Anyways, on to today...
-Did you notice that this new president guy is black? Apparently a lot of people can't tell, so reporters are required to mention it at least once every three sentences. Like some one's watching at home going "Oh! OK. Now I see it! I totally hadn't picked up on that." Are we really that stupid as a nation? (note: since some people make a living off of calling people racist I feel the need to clarify this point. I'm not saying I have a problem with the President, what I am saying is that I resent the media treating me as though I'm too stupid to notice the obvious, or to recognize the historical significance of this event without the aid of a talking head.)
-I probably don't want to know the answer to that question.
-Am I the only one who thinks the Lincoln thing is a little overblown? I mean I wish the guy the best, but let's let him take office before we start blasting his face onto Mount Rushmore.
-I listened to the ceremony on the radio during my lunch hour, so I didn't get the visual of the enormous crowd until I saw the replay and damn, that's an impressive site. Imagine 2 million people of all walks of life united only by civic pride, hope for the future....and the fact that they were all standing ankle-deep in urine.
-How come Reagan gets no love when they talk about great speeches from the past? I don't have the borderline-gay Reagan obsession that a lot of people on the right have, but come on. Reagan is like, ya know, the Republican, ya know, JFK. ya know?
-Did you catch that reference, or do I need to beat it into the ground?
-Did you ever stop to think about Lee Harvey Oswald's contribution to getting the Civil Rights bills passed? Sounds incredibly offensive until you stop and think about it.
-Aretha Franklin sounded good on the radio. My personal favorite performance of hers was when she sang "America the Beautiful" at Wrestlemania III back in 1987.
-Joe Biden was my personal MVP of the campaigns. He was the most "human" of all the candidates. He just said whatever was on his mind. IMO, this is how McCain should have been. Biden will be a much stronger asset to the new president than all of the Clinton retreads.
-I'd be interested to read Dick Cheney's memoirs. I kind of wonder how his mind works.
-Speaking of the Clintons, I think the appointment of Hillary was a rather weak one.
-John Roberts was clearly not ready for prime-time.
-I'll admit it. I got goosebumps when "Hail to the Chief" was played right after the swearing-in. Not because of the man himself, necessarily. But when you think of how good we have it in this country that power is transferred peacefully without the bloodshed or chaos seen elsewhere, it should serve as a reminder of all the reasons we have to be proud of this nation.
-I thought Obama's speech was pretty weak, actually. Maybe it's just because I only got about 90 minutes of sleep last night, or maybe he's just set the bar pretty high, but I thought it was rather flat. I felt like he didn't say anything. The speech could be summed up as "things are tough, but we'll get through". There weren't really any specifics and the rhetoric was not as soaring as I'm used to. That being said at least it didn't scare the bejeezus out of me like Bush's second one. After that one I was thinking "I wish we were fighting a war for oil. At least that would be a bad man acting rationally, which is less frightening than a Manichean crusader who thinks he can use the power of the United States government to force everyone to have a better life and fix all the world's problems." hmm.
-Watching the First Family freezing while watching the parade, I appreciated the 65 degree January weather we're having right now. You'd think they could have some kind of heater that keeps the reviewing stand nice and toasty.
-All in all, it was nice to see people celebrating. Even the moonbats; they kicked our asses so they've earned it. I hope the new president does a good job leading the nation through turbulent times ahead and forces me to vote for him next time. I'm sure I'll disagree with him a lot but I'll do so in a fair and respectful manner. After seeing the way the Left lost its collective mind over Bush (or Bushitler as he's affectionately known to the "tin-foil hat"crowd) I vow never to act that pathetic or to abandon logic due to political disagreement. In all fairness the Right did the same with Clinton, and both were equally pathetic. So from now on, I won't call him Barry or any other derisive nickname, or call him a Communist, or anything of that sort. My criticisms will be reasoned, and will probably be boring to those who simply want to read a bunch of name-calling.
-First, the best one-sentence (kind of) breakdown of the election I've heard was from liberal radio host Ed Schultz who said: (paraphrased) "We're in the middle of two wars and a recession and what do they want to talk about? Bill Ayers? Joe the Plumber? Lipstick? Middle names? And they wonder why they got their asses kicked? " This kind of sums it all up right here.
-I can say this now. I don't think Sarah Palin is a stupid person, but she certainly plays one convincingly on tv. It was pretty much all downhill after the convention speech. "I read everything, Katie. All of them." Bob mentioned wishing I were the candidate when they asked that question. I'd have said "well, I read Russian literature, far-left garbage that I hear recommended on Democracy NOW!, books detailing the history and formation of Al-Qiada (which you'd think I'd remember how to spell by now), books about violent predators/ crime prevention, and the Bible."
-The most disturbing quote I heard all year was President Obama responding to criticism of his mind-boggling spending proposals. He said "If we can afford to spend $10 billion a month in Iraq...blah, blah, blah". This disturbed me for a couple of reasons. 1) We can't afford it. That money is being borrowed, not "spent". This is one thing he and I agreed on. 2) Debt doesn't work on a "fairness doctrine". Bush put us deep in the red, so we should let the next guy put us deeper into the hole? That's a good way to go broke twice as fast.
-How the hell did that Blago guy get elected? The word "douchebag" comes to mind. Also, George Will's statement remains true that "no modern farce is complete without a cameo appearance by Jesse Jackson."
-I have had more than enough of Sean Hannity. I think he's a well meaning idiot, but an idiot nonetheless. Yeah, we know already... Bill Ayers. If I have to hear that name one more time I'm going to throw up. Don't get me wrong I haven't heard a single defense of Ayers that wasn't intellectually pathetic or solely reliant on some questionable moral relativist argument. e.g. "He did it a long time ago (up until the early 80's)" or "other people do bad things too". That said I don't care that Obama was tangentially involved with the guy. Anyways, on to today...
-Did you notice that this new president guy is black? Apparently a lot of people can't tell, so reporters are required to mention it at least once every three sentences. Like some one's watching at home going "Oh! OK. Now I see it! I totally hadn't picked up on that." Are we really that stupid as a nation? (note: since some people make a living off of calling people racist I feel the need to clarify this point. I'm not saying I have a problem with the President, what I am saying is that I resent the media treating me as though I'm too stupid to notice the obvious, or to recognize the historical significance of this event without the aid of a talking head.)
-I probably don't want to know the answer to that question.
-Am I the only one who thinks the Lincoln thing is a little overblown? I mean I wish the guy the best, but let's let him take office before we start blasting his face onto Mount Rushmore.
-I listened to the ceremony on the radio during my lunch hour, so I didn't get the visual of the enormous crowd until I saw the replay and damn, that's an impressive site. Imagine 2 million people of all walks of life united only by civic pride, hope for the future....and the fact that they were all standing ankle-deep in urine.
-How come Reagan gets no love when they talk about great speeches from the past? I don't have the borderline-gay Reagan obsession that a lot of people on the right have, but come on. Reagan is like, ya know, the Republican, ya know, JFK. ya know?
-Did you catch that reference, or do I need to beat it into the ground?
-Did you ever stop to think about Lee Harvey Oswald's contribution to getting the Civil Rights bills passed? Sounds incredibly offensive until you stop and think about it.
-Aretha Franklin sounded good on the radio. My personal favorite performance of hers was when she sang "America the Beautiful" at Wrestlemania III back in 1987.
-Joe Biden was my personal MVP of the campaigns. He was the most "human" of all the candidates. He just said whatever was on his mind. IMO, this is how McCain should have been. Biden will be a much stronger asset to the new president than all of the Clinton retreads.
-I'd be interested to read Dick Cheney's memoirs. I kind of wonder how his mind works.
-Speaking of the Clintons, I think the appointment of Hillary was a rather weak one.
-John Roberts was clearly not ready for prime-time.
-I'll admit it. I got goosebumps when "Hail to the Chief" was played right after the swearing-in. Not because of the man himself, necessarily. But when you think of how good we have it in this country that power is transferred peacefully without the bloodshed or chaos seen elsewhere, it should serve as a reminder of all the reasons we have to be proud of this nation.
-I thought Obama's speech was pretty weak, actually. Maybe it's just because I only got about 90 minutes of sleep last night, or maybe he's just set the bar pretty high, but I thought it was rather flat. I felt like he didn't say anything. The speech could be summed up as "things are tough, but we'll get through". There weren't really any specifics and the rhetoric was not as soaring as I'm used to. That being said at least it didn't scare the bejeezus out of me like Bush's second one. After that one I was thinking "I wish we were fighting a war for oil. At least that would be a bad man acting rationally, which is less frightening than a Manichean crusader who thinks he can use the power of the United States government to force everyone to have a better life and fix all the world's problems." hmm.
-Watching the First Family freezing while watching the parade, I appreciated the 65 degree January weather we're having right now. You'd think they could have some kind of heater that keeps the reviewing stand nice and toasty.
-All in all, it was nice to see people celebrating. Even the moonbats; they kicked our asses so they've earned it. I hope the new president does a good job leading the nation through turbulent times ahead and forces me to vote for him next time. I'm sure I'll disagree with him a lot but I'll do so in a fair and respectful manner. After seeing the way the Left lost its collective mind over Bush (or Bushitler as he's affectionately known to the "tin-foil hat"crowd) I vow never to act that pathetic or to abandon logic due to political disagreement. In all fairness the Right did the same with Clinton, and both were equally pathetic. So from now on, I won't call him Barry or any other derisive nickname, or call him a Communist, or anything of that sort. My criticisms will be reasoned, and will probably be boring to those who simply want to read a bunch of name-calling.
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