The State of the Union: Undressed.

I'll be writing my opinions on The Prez's big speech tonight as they occur, but first I have a very important philosophical question. Who is crazier: the chimp lady in Connecticut, or Nadya "Octopussy" Suleman in California? I'm torn on this. Also, not all of the facts are out but I'd be willing to bet any amount of money that "Chimp Lady" did NOT vote for John McCain. Let me explain. Both political wings have certain forms of lunacy. Tricking yourself into thinking a wild ape is your son Travis can be pretty easily classified in this regard.Without further ado, I got your stimulus package right here.

-As the Congress files into the room, I'm once again reminded that our country is ruled by the town counsel from "Footloose".

-I'm watching the ABC coverage which should be sufficiently reverent.

-Did you know Obama was named "Gun Salesman of the Year"?

-I hope Antonin Scalia is taking good care of himself.

-Is Biden's son in uniform there the son that is/was being indicted?

-A guy named "Chesley" has to be a bad-ass.

-Now comes the cabinet. Kind of crazy that Hillary passed the vetting process, but not Richardson or P. Dischle (formerly known as Puff Daschle). I won't be surprised if Hillary is his running mate in 2012.

-Can somebody tell me how racking up huge new debts is "change" from W? Debt is debt, regardless of your intentions.

-The president's goal is to go directly to the people funding the stimulus package, but unfortunately it is after 9 pm on the east coast and those people have already been tucked into bed by their parents.

-And the crowd goes wild. Remember that happy looking guy. We'll see how he looks as the years roll on.

-Jackson Jr in the house! Remember, no modern farce is complete without a cameo appearance from Jesse Jackson.

-The president has spent more money so far than any one save Pelosi's plastic surgeon.

-Think that's really water in Biden's glass?

-Is Biden texting?

-For a hope-monger he sure paints a bleak picture.

-Can someone please keep Chris Dodd's face and Barney Franks' voice off of my tv.

-He's laying the blueprint for the rise of disaster socialism.

-5 minutes in and nothing but platitudes.

-The idea that his economic agenda will bring down the deficit is so ridiculous only an intellectual could believe it.

-Everybody in Cuba has a job don't they?
-Cuba is still a Third World Socialist hell-hole isn't it?

-Without using the phrase "George Bush", do you really believe the stimulus will create the number of jobs he's saying? Be honest. With me and with yourself.

-The number of people who pay taxes is less than 95%

-"Wellfare as we know it" is back with a vengeance!

-If you've been going through tough times but have been paying your mortgage any way.... you are officially a sucker.

-The banks have really made a deal with the devil on this bailout. You don't pull a fast one on the Feds, the Feds pull a fast one on you.

-Does any one realize how ridiculous it is to claim that the Bush admin was too capitalistic?

-He doesn't get it. (Remember that line?)

-He gives a classic example of the Broken Windows Fallacy when talking about the need to "invest" in financial institutions.

-Government IS the solution.

-Mo' money, mo' money money!

-Here comes the "green jobs" crap.

-Listening to him talk about energy makes it clear that the moonbats really are in charge. There should be a law that you can't use the words "efficiency" and "government" in the same sentence.

-The automobile would never be invented today. Too many regulations.

-An American goes bankrupt from health care bills every thirty seconds. This is unacceptable. We're all going to go bankrupt paying health care bills. Keep in mind a government that goes broke under it's own debt can provide health care to zero children.

-Apparently you have the "right" to have your doctor bills paid for by someone else.

-We're going to spend a lot more on churning out kids with diplomas they can barely read.

-This just in. Our educational system is run by morons. Hate to be the one to have to point this out. From the Right trying to destroy science education to the Left trying to destroy the way History is taught, we've pretty well got our bases covered.

-Can you imagine if the government ran the only fast-food restaurant in your town? What do you suppose the food would taste like? How would the service be?

-Dropping out of high school is "no longer an option". "We need the skills of every American"? That sent a chill through my fucking blood.

-We're going to give kids more money. The colleges will say "Well, I guess these kids can afford more!"

-Brain tumor or not, Ted Kennedy can pound sand.

-Honestly, He KILLED someone. Am I supposed to be cool with that? Is Manson an okay guy now because he hasn't killed lately?

-Education might be the most over-priced commodity there is in this nation.

-We can't pass on debt? Let's at least wait for it to become history before revising it.

-Mentions "inheriting debt". Stay classy, moonbats. Remember "Change" means more of the same with regard to debt.

-I'd place a wager that he will not end farm subsidies.

-If he hadn't just signed a trillion dollar monstrosity, I might believe him. Apparently the Salt Water Marsh Mice will spend a lot of that money they got.

-Higher corporate taxes equal more jobs?

-We live in a Victimocracy at this point in our development so his "hose the rich" plan might be popular.

-Remember how Democrats cared when Iraq was costing so much money? They were right. (for more on the topic of debt, please read American Theocracy by Kevin Phillips) Once again, our children will not care why we put them into crushing debt, simply that we did it at all.

-Terrorists will not plot against us from safe havens half-way around the world- They'll do it from right here God-damn it! Not that Bush was any better about border security.

-Did he screw up the Git'mo thing or what? You've been campaigning on this since '04 and you're just now going think of an alternative?

-Nancy Pelosi's smirk is torture.

-There's a dead body in the room!!!! Oh, never mind it's just John Kerry.

-Did you know: The "Kool-Aid" at Jonestown was actually Flavorade?

-True story.

-Him trying to expand the power of government to unheard of levels and my opposition to it is neither petty nor trivial. The last guy did that too, and do you remember how bad that turned out? Remember Lord Acton's Axiom?

-Would you rather be water-boarded or have sex with Dianne Feinstein?

-How bad could it be?

-The water-boarding I mean. I think I'd have to say get the towel.

-Christopher Hitchens got water-boarded. He says it's torture.

-Have you noticed that I haven't personally insulted the president? Every one else, yes. President Obama, no.

-So there you have it. Huge spending and an incredibly vague claim about cutting "unnecessary spending" You may either keep reading for my views on this Jindal kid who I've had my eye on.
Or, you can go right to the comments section and call me a racist for opposing the president. (But keep in mind I'll do the same thing if he ever catches static from the left.) Line of the night: "I do not believe in bigger government". Does any one believe that?

-I agree with him about the war-budgeting thing. I also think some of the banking regulations will be a good thing. For good or ill, this is the beginning of a new era for this country. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I hope this stuff works because it's going to happen either way. I don't want to be like the people on the Left who were so invested in failure they couldn't believe that Iraq was turning around no matter what actually happened on the ground. Would I bet on that outcome? Hell no.

-As he walks out I notice some school-girls. It is good to have a president you can trust around the young ladies.

-I liked the whole "death penalty for child-rape" thing they had going in Louisiana. Do it In My Name, I'll sign for it if necessary.
-Jindal pays tribute to Obama's blackness.

-Then he has to point out that he has minority creds too.

-Sounds like his dad should have gone to a socialist utopia.

-I like that Jindal is not lining up at the teat.

-Not sure bringing up Katrina is a great idea.

-I like that he's pointing out the bad side of government inefficiency.

-Is there anything sadder than seeing what's become of (formerly)Great Britain.

-Did you know that if you spent a million dollars a day every day from the birth of Christ until now, you still wouldn't exceed the amount of the "stimulus package".

-He needs to keep hammering them on the stupid stuff in this bill.

-We still need to drill for oil.

-Ten years from now, they'll be telling us that it will take ten years to get to the oil we still haven't drilled for. And make no mistake about it, we will still be enriching our enemies because we don't want to risk the lives of caribou.

-School choice is antithetical to everything Obama stands for. He mentioned it, but don't be surprised when it never quite materializes.

-Talk about the border please.

-The Federal Government has never led us astray before has it?

-He's talking about people being responsible for themselves. What a hate-monger! Doesn't he know some people are victims?

-I like Jindal. This will fall on deaf ears, but may help his standing in the party. Now please, tell me how bad Bush was some more.