Went to the Dentist.

Nope, this isn't another post making fun of Obama. (although I'm considering doing a "dentist" metaphor to make fun of McCain 'cause I've got some funny ones there.) In this case, I'm talking about a literal trip to the dentist. Shortly I mocked Obama, he saw fit to strike me down like he was the prophet Elisha or something. Only instead of angry bears he used horrible pain in one of my wisdom teeth. It drove me nuts for about a week before I finally decided to have it looked at. So today I finally went to the dentist even though the pain is gone. The first question they asked was "how long has it been since you've seen a dentist?" My answer: "not sure of the date, but I remember there was a Dole-Clinton debate that night". (which is not an exaggeration) I knew what was going to happen; it was going to be like when you take your car in to have one thing fixed and they find 8 more problems. The dentist looked at the teeth for about 45 seconds before saying "yeah, these need to be liberated". (need to remember that line if I wind up doing a McCain/dentist post). Then when the hygienist did the x-rays she found 2 cavities and noticed that one of my canine teeth is permanent and the other is a baby with the big one behind it protruding from the roof of my mouth (it's not as bad as it sounds). Then she stabbed my gums repeatedly with a poker and discovered that I have the gum disease known as (in deep-voice) GINGIVITIS. (Mouths are pretty disgusting). Then she probed around more and told me my plaque is too thick for a regular cleaning so I have to come back twice (once for each side of the mouth) and be numbed so she can go to work with the pliers and the blow-torch. Then she asked me "when you run your tongue along the backs of your lower front teeth, you can't feel separate teeth just one solid wall right?" I hadn't really thought about it but, yeah its pretty gross. Then she showed me an extreme close up picture of this area on a tv screen. I was like "I kiss people with that mouth?" That makes the black hole of Calcutta look like Disney Land! I half-expected to see little indigent villagers picking through the rubble. Then I wondered: "could you email me that pic so I can post it on my blog?" But I decided not to ask that. So, in conclusion, my mouth is a wretched hive of scum and villainy, but other than that she said I have good teeth. (and that I should quit smoking)